And then there was five...

The family went to Arizona a couple weeks back. Marc graduated from University of Phoenix and we are SO PROUD OF HIM! We went to see him walk & recieve his degree. It was heartfelt and so deserved. He worked SO HARD over the last 2 years to accomplish this.

It was also heartfelt and touching because a new rush of hormones overcame my body causing me to be more (dare I say) emotional than usual.

I was late. I was stressed in May, which usually throws things off a bit with my cycle. While we were in AZ to ease our minds Marc bought a pregnancy test for me. I sat on the potty (yes, I a Mom) and peed on a stick.

I peed.

Very quickly. Very clearly.

Plus sign.

For those of you non parent people, my eggo is prego. A rush of dispair overcame me. How could I be pregnant? How could this happen? We have natural family planning down to a t (so I thought). 

And then, on that hotter than the sun day, we became a family of 5. I felt afraid, like I had done something wrong because I was pregnant. Like I should be ashamed of this, people were going to judge me because of this. I was also afraid because we parentals are now outnumbered. Marc and I both came from a 2 sibling family. We are treading into unknown territory! 

More and more I realize how the devil manipulates blessings into "curses". Why should I feel sad or in dispair? Children are a gift from God, Mother Teresa said "Having too many children in a family is like having too many flowers in a field".  It was still a challenge to swallow. Thank God for giving woman 9+ months of gestation to get warmed up to having another kid! 

This suprise plus sign tells me this, You are God and I am not. I have no desire to do anyone wills but Yours. Thank you for letting me and Marc partake in your gift of creation. 

It is funny. I love adventure. Like love it. I love the unknown and conquering it, for some reason this is hard to swallow. It is because it is unlike any adventure I would of ever planned and am not sure if I would of had a third kid had this not happen. 

I get to feel a baby kick in my tummy again. I was going to miss that.

I get to hear a newborn cry-which makes my heart skip a bit.

Ya, poopy diapers, another c-section, sleepless nights. I wouldnt trade anything to not know you little baby inside of me.

Joshie is very excited to have another little brother or sister. He says it will be a "baby girl". He also slipped to my parents that I was pregnant when he prayed during grace for "Mama's baby". Marc laughed it off like he was a silly toddler saying silly things.